I often feel the need to give a face to the nebulous thing I am fighting against.  It helps to personify my loathing. It helps to focus my anger.  And sometimes I just need a quick straw man to huff and puff against. So I would like you to meet Edna. Edna is a woman of very little brain. She dropped out of school during the fifth grade and she has very few teeth left. Edna hates the thought of welfare despite the fact that she is insured by Medicaid, uses food stamps, and collects unemployment. Edna believes in creationism, and is a member of the NRA. She listens to country music and occasionally makes reference to “colored people.” Edna votes Republican despite the fact that this is economic suicide for her income bracket. Edna lives in a trailer park somewhere in Kentucky. Despite the fact that she has no job and plenty of free time, she can’t seem to find the time to clean up her trailer. Even though she does not own any pets, her trailer still manages to smell like urine. The dishes pile up in the sink until she has to use paper plates. Edna has many children but I would never accuse her of being a parent. Whenever one of her children utters a word Edna screams, “I told you to shut up, Caleb!” Edna prays to Baby Jesus before every meal that she eats at the table. Edna seldom eats at the table because it is more convenient to eat macaroni and cheese in front of the TV. She has the right to vote but cannot define the term suffrage and is not registered to vote. Edna is suspicious of the Educational Elite, and she has never been to the public library. Her stated position on global warming is, “Huh?” Edna has never eaten anything green accept for iceberg lettuce and she thinks ketchup is a vegetable. Edna has never been to the post office, and she pays her electric bill at the grocery store. She owns a 1995 Ford F-150, complains about gas prices, and has never used public transportation. Edna smokes two packs a day, carries an albuterol inhaler, and wears a CPAP mask at night. She does not gamble, but she plays bingo with her mother. Edna believes in prayer in school, but she cannot recite the Pledge of Allegiance. Edna readily identifies herself as a patriot.

In the course of my job I meet Edna several times a week, and from time to time you may hear me refer to her in this blog. Just so you know where we stand.