I have had an Ebay account since about the first year they opened their doors.  I will not say that I am a frequent user of the service, but every few months I go back to do some business as a buyer and a seller in what has been called the world’s biggest garage sale.  In the past couple of years I have not tried to sell anything, but recently have dove back into it to relieve myself of some of this EMS training equipment I am not using.  I am frankly shocked at the state of things, and I would like to explain how horribly broken this service is from the seller’s point of view.

Like many people, I have been disappointed to see Ebay turn into less of an auction house and more of a store front.  There was a definite thrill in winning a tight bid.  I was exciting to bid and I had developed a system over the years.  I never officially followed an auction, and I never bid until the last five seconds.  It has always been my contention that watching an auction and bidding early tips your hand to your opponents.  Someone knows you want it, and it gives them time to think and for the price to be driven up.  I would set a timer to go off five minutes before an auction ended.  I would then go to the computer and reset the timer for the very second that the auction ended.  I would set my maximum bid price, and wait to push the ‘confirm bid’ button until the last 4 or 5 seconds of the auction.  For a low key item with only one or two bidders this was a devastating strategy that won me quite a few bargains.  The other bidders were not aware of my interest and had no time to react if they wanted to counter my offer.

But in recent years I have been disappointed to see all the fun drain away from Ebay.  Most items I look at now are not auctions, but ‘buy it now’ items that roll over month to month.  For a while I have been speculating as to why this has occurred, but as it turns out, all of my speculation was wrong.  It wasn’t until I tried to sell a few expensive items myself that I realized the intricacies of the problem.

I was attempting to sell a pediatric ALS manikin by auction and was pleased to find out that the bidding was pretty vigorous.

Mass33302010 was the winning bidder at $550.  (Yep, I’m going to bust him out here by name.  Feel free to login to Ebay and send him a nasty gram on my behalf.  Make sure he gets a link to this post.)  Mass33302010 never even attempted to pay for the item.  Back in the day, there used to be a few repercussions over behavior like this.  After about 8 or 9 days, and several queries for payment I was starting to take the hint.  So I went looking to shut down the auction and leave some nasty feedback.  I was shocked to find out that I simply couldn’t do either of these things.

Here is the description of the rock and the hard place that Ebay created for me.  The reader should probably take note that Ebay has jacked up the fees for auctions lately.  The percentage cut that they skim off the top now is a whopping 9% with a maximum of $50 in that price range.  But that doesn’t even include the original posting fee.  Since the auction had ended, Ebay was going to charge me over $50 in fees for a manikin I had never sold.  In order to get those fees refunded, I had to open an ‘unpaid item case.’  They assured me that they would send him sternly worded emails on my behalf and try to arbitrate the dispute.  However, I had to wait at least 4 more days without reselling the manikin in order for Ebay to be satisfied that I had waited long enough.  After the 4 days were up, I was allowed to close the case and was given a credit for my auction fees.  So after almost two weeks of waiting (the reader should note that I wanted to be spending my $550 by this time) I was finally allowed to close the case and leave some feedback for this deadbeat.  I logged in wringing my hands.  I might have even uttered a maniacal “Muahahahaha!”  I was all ready to open an 80 character or less can o’ whoop ass, but was shocked and dismayed to find that I only had the option to leave positive feedback.  That’s right.  You heard it correctly.  Nothing negative was available.  Not even neutral.  My only option was to leave positive feedback.  And after a much frenzied Google search accompanied by angry muttering and facial twitches, I learned that sellers simply aren’t allowed to give anything but positive feedback.  Ever.  Period.

So, to this date, Mr. Mass33302010-Fancy-Pants-Cheating-Rat-Bastard has a perfect feedback rating.  It’s 100% in the green in fact.  Looking at his profile doesn’t mention anything about him being a liar, or a swindler, or a jackass, or anything remotely satisfying.  To be completely fair, Ebay does have a few protections for buyers.  They are outlined here.  But honestly, this is a bit anemic and completely unsatisfying.  Do I expect him to be strung up and flogged?  No.  Do I expect him to be hauled off in chains?  No.  But this person entered into a contract with me and agreed to pay almost $600 with the shipping fees and simply fled.  If someone tried to do that to me in person I would be taking them to small claims court.  And I am going to be honest, I needed that money.  I wouldn’t try to unload a piece of equipment like that if I didn’t.  And what did I get?  I had to scramble to get my fees back and the whole process of me collecting the money I needed was pushed back by two weeks.

And don’t get me started on the whole Paypal thing.  Paypal has decided that they will hold all the money from an auction payment until the buyer decides to get around to giving feedback.  If they simply forget to give you feedback, you will have to wait 21 days for your funds to clear so they can be transferred to your bank account.  Oh, and I should probably mention that my bank treats Paypal like some out of town check from a creepy uncle.  After I transferred the funds from another auction it was five days until it was available in my account.

So just in case you missed it, here is the flow of money through an Ebay auction:  Let’s say you put up an auction for an item.  The auction usually takes 7 days unless you specify otherwise.  Then the buyer need never pay you.  There is no set limit to the amount of time that can go by, but the customary waiting period is one week.  Then you can open a complaint and wait another four days without reposting the item (because it still technically belongs to the deadbeat) to get your fees back.  If someone actually does pay for it, Paypal will take their own sweet time clearing the money from the buyer.  In the meantime, you better be putting that thing in the mail with your own money quick because if you don’t, the buyer can leave some bad feedback for you.  Yep.  They get to do that.  But after quite a few days, the funds will actually clear the Paypal process.  But they won’t be posted as available until the buyer gives feedback, which is whenever the hell he or she feels like doing it.  It maybe weeks from now.  Then the money shows up as available and you can transfer it to your account and wait almost another week to get your hands on it.

The result of this is that the absolute minimum time that you can be reimbursed for an item sold is about a month.  If anything goes wrong you can expect to get payment sometime in the next decade.  The buyer can leave negative feedback for any reason.  You are simply not allowed to.  You had better budget for paying the shipping fees now and getting reimbursed for it next month.

So far I have posted four items for auction.  So far I have received payment for two items, one was disputed, and oh…let’s not forget the other one.  I sold a computer printer.  I have paid the expensive shipping fees for that 20 lbs. monstrosity of a laser printer.  I have the UPS tracking number and according to them it was delivered yesterday.  But guess what?  The buyer says he didn’t receive it.  This just happened today so I don’t know what to do about that.  I paid quite a few dollars to ship my property to him.  Maybe I’ll get paid before the end of the year so I can use the funds to help with the Christmas shopping.  Oh and yes, the manikin is back on auction.  However, the item is marked to be shipped in the US only and the current winning bidder lives in Switzerland.

So now I understand why Ebay has turned into the ‘buy it now site’ instead of ‘America’s auction site.’  If a seller places an item up in the ‘buy it now’ category, he or she can demand immediate payment.  If no payment takes place, there is no transaction and no liability to the seller.  And Ebay is less fun.

Since I am unable to give negative feedback to the deadbeat who is Mass33302010, here is a little negative feedback for you, Ebay.  Simply hold some people accountable.  Someone promised to pay me almost $600 and didn’t respond to almost two weeks of queries.  How hard could it be to suspend that account?  How hard could it be to place a satisfying “Refused to pay for item over $500” tag to his profile after he begs for his account to be reinstated?  If you do this a few times I guarantee that buyers will take notice.  Sellers even may be inspired to crawl out from the shelter of the ‘buy it now’ tag and actually post some auctions that would make Ebay fun again.  Oh, and perhaps you may wish to look into some technology that would allow sellers in the 21^st century to get paid a little sooner than three weeks to a month after they have shipped their item.  Could we get something like that to happen?  Until then, I think I will look into this ‘buy it now’ option for the rest of my equipment and cancel my account with you after I unload it.

Feedback for Ebay: F-!!!! Lame company. Stupid policies. Ebay=FAIL! Paypal=FAIL! Buyers=SUCK!

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