What would happen if Barrack Obama got in front of a podium and a TV camera and told the truth?  Which truth doesn’t really matter.  The truth about anything really.  Let’s take one I have written about before.  For instance, what if Barrack Obama got on television and stated the following:

“My fellow Americans.  This country has a bunch of brave men and women fighting overseas.  And by and large I think they do a good job.  But it has come to my attention that many of them may be there for the wrong reasons.  A certain percentage of them constantly use racial slurs like raghead and sand-nigger to describe not only the enemy, but the people we wish to protect.  This would be unfortunate in any circumstance, but when we are engaged in the task of nation building this sort of hatred and racism undermines our goal.  Why is this happening?  Our military is made up of many people who are earnest in their desire to protect this country at all costs, including their very lives.  But our military is also populated by some very young adults who were not very successful in life and so they went to see a military recruiter out of desperation.  Our military recruiters have been under great pressure to recruit enough people so that we can avoid a draft, and to be quite honest, we have had to resort to enlisting people that by almost anyone’s standards are undesirable.  Due to this, a certain percentage of our military are extremely intolerant, angry people who are probably not suited to be on the front line of a humanitarian effort.  So I am calling for us to change our policies…”

Okay, I want everyone to stop for a moment.  Did the above paragraph piss you off?  If it did, ask yourself why.  I have great respect for our military.  When I owned my own educational company I went out of my way to support troops coming home.  I turned some of them into paramedics.  I became personal friends with a few of them.  You can listen to this podcast I recorded in order to document the story of one of them.  My own brother is a career military person.  But you know what?  My brother was a complete jerk when was in college.  He failed out of his classes, and was sent home with no job and no prospects.  My mother, exasperated with him, sat down one day and told him that he was a failure and his only chance to support himself and get by would be to join the military.  A few weeks later he was in the army.  And come to think of it, to this day he is a racist, intolerant jackass.

If you talk to anyone in the military in private, they will tell you that many grunts in the military are young people who are consumed with defending our country or with bettering themselves with the GI Bill.  I think this is fantastic.  But this same person will also tell you that the military contains many of the great unwashed.  Because of this, everything has to be dumbed down to the point of ridiculousness because all army training is focused on the lowest common denominator.  This isn’t just me talking here.  They right books about it.  They perform plays about it.  They sing songs about it.  Watch M*A*S*H for crying out loud.  I’m not the only one making this claim.  Don’t get me wrong though.  The great unwashed does not make up the bulk of the military.  It is also filled with a bunch of very interesting and very smart people who do fine things and risk their lives for our country.  I respect them.  I admire them.  And I thank them.

But does anyone think that our entire military is a very intelligent, humanitarian, well spoken, altruistic group of homogenous do-gooders who are selfless and pure?  Of course not.  The brigs are full of soldiers who are guilty of assault, rape, theft, and all sorts of fantastic behaviors.  This has always been true.  But in recent years they have really had to scrape the bottom of the barrel to find applicants so that a draft would not be necessary.  And frankly sometimes it shows.  The current missions we are engaged in are sensitive, and some of these people are probably not the best choice for that mission.

But Obama can’t say that on TV.  Why?  Because some things are just not to be discussed in public.  Back in the 60’s and 70’s people used to talk openly about this.  But the veterans from Vietnam and other wars had finally had enough.  They made it a political hot button.  People who paid high prices serving their country didn’t want to be insulted.  And politicians are all about not offending people, so the whole ‘support the troops’ thing became ubiquitous.  And that is great.  I think everyone did support the troops to a certain degree.

But all the sudden criticism was taken off the table.  And that has effects.

All of the sudden, saying anything disparaging about our troops became taboo.  Any politician who even got close to saying anything critical about our military was instantly blacklisted.  And in just a few years we start to learn of all the hideous torture and atrocities that have gone unchecked.  Many of them have been brought to light, but we still can’t say anything about the nature of the men and women who serve our country.  Even though I have recently read an account of a giant corn fed boy from the Midwest who took it upon himself to sodomize muslim males in order to humiliate them (yes, he basically ass raped several men without any direct orders to do so, but claims he did this in the name of freedom and Democracy) we can’t go out in public and say anything like, “Hey, what the hell is wrong with the military?”  How does anything get better if we are not allowed to criticize?  I’m sorry, but I would like to be able to make a statement in public to the effect of, “I don’t think soldiers should be ass raping prisoners,” without my patriotism being called into question.

The same can be said about EMS volunteer services.  (You were wondering when I was going to get around to EMS, weren’t you?)  The idea of volunteers is a good one.  When a member of the general public hears of someone in their community who volunteers to take people to the hospital and put out fires, that person is usually deeply impressed.  Who wouldn’t be?  I mean, on paper it looks great.  How could you say anything disparaging about someone who helps people out of the goodness of their heart?

But that’s the problem that I would like to discuss.  I would like to take the time to criticize and tell you exactly what is wrong with the volunteer services, and why it is so difficult to run a good organization.

Let me first say, that I don’t think there is anything wrong with volunteering.  As a matter of fact, I am volunteering right now.  Yes, typing on this keyboard is my own way of volunteering.  Take a good look around Gomerville.  Do you see any ads?  Do you see a ‘donate’ button anywhere?  No.  You don’t.  I spend a lot of time doing this.  I pay hard earned money to maintain my hosting account.  I continue doing this knowing that I am never going to make one thin dime off of my work.

But there are other rewards.  I would like to think that some of my writings may call attention to some of the problems in EMS that others who have a higher stake in things would not feel free to say.  Perhaps this will make someone think about what is going on in their service and a change will be made for the better.  Perhaps someone who was thinking about getting into the business will read this blog and find out that this is really not for them.  Perhaps another will read it and find that EMS would be the perfect profession.  Perhaps a manager who is far removed from his or her employees will hear this voice and think a little harder about the policies that they implement.  I also get to interact with many of you.  I get new readers all the time.  Thousands of you.  So something I am saying is striking a chord.  And that’s enough.  That’s my payment.

So believe it or not, I get the whole volunteer thing.  I get it because I am doing it right now.

And many volunteers do have the right idea.  They are selfless people who have found out that hard work has rewards other than money.  I respect them.  I admire them.  I appreciate their efforts.

But just as I have discussed with the military, does anyone really think that all volunteers are selfless, well trained, well spoken, altruistic do-gooders who are on a 24 hours a day, 7 days a week mission to help their fellow man?

Of course not.

So, if not all volunteers are good, then who is bad?  And why do they come?  What’s the motivation for them to give up their time like that?  What is the reward for a bad volunteer?

There are several reasons for this that I will cover.  The first is what I would like to call the ‘zero to hero’ phenomena.  Is everyone who applies for a job suited for that job?  Is every employee who works for a company a good employee?  Of course not.  And as you might have guessed, not every volunteer who applies to a department is going to make a good volunteer.  Some of them are people who are down on their luck because they are not very intelligent and not very well organized.  The world is filled with people who just haven’t done well for themselves.  They are lonely and desperate to belong to something and  feel important.  And then they drive by the station house and see that sign…

I hired a Medical Director for my EMS academy.  I paid him money for his services.  Some of my colleagues thought this was crazy because there are a few physicians out there who will offer their services for free to EMS education projects.  And I had worked with some of those people before.  They were sometimes hard to reach on the phone.  They often cancelled things at a moment’s notice.  I once spent almost a month trying to track an ER physician down trying to get a signature on one piece of paper.

Money makes people accountable.  Money makes people honest.  Money gets people’s attention.

Now I am not claiming that you will be happy with everyone you pay to do work for you.  Quite the contrary.  But you have a leash on those people.  You have a way to make them accountable.  And if things don’t work out you can fire them.  Not so for the volunteers.

And thinking back, the most successful volunteer programs I can think of were programs that offered an alternate form of payment.  For instance, many suburban fire districts in my area are paid departments that have volunteer programs.  Every so often a paid spot will come open, and where do you think they look to fill that spot?  Consequently, many of the volunteers are giving their free time in the hopes of getting paid.  So a perceived monetary reward is at the end of their efforts.  Some of these departments also have what is known as ‘live ins.’  These are volunteers that are allowed to live in a dorm room in the station.  They live rent free.  This obviously has a monetary value to the volunteer.  If you combine those things together, what you really have is not a volunteer, but a person who is being paid indirectly.  Consequently, these people are more accountable.  And the department gets to ‘try before they buy.’  All things considered, many of these programs work pretty well.

But the more a system relies on the altruism of the participants, the more suspicious I get.  EMS is a pretty thankless job.  Anyone who has done it for any length of time will tell you that most of the calls aren’t bad.  But if you work for any length of time you will encounter violence, drunkenness, disease exposure, verbal abuse, personal injury, sleepless nights, and all manner of unpleasantness.  And in this day and age, less and less people find themselves able to easily leave work.

There are a certain percentage of volunteers who put up with all the drawbacks of EMS service for free because they are simply desperate to belong to something.  As I said, volunteering looks good on paper.  If you ask a member of the general public what they think of when they think ‘EMS volunteer’ they will probably conjure images of a chiseled man wearing a helmet and speaking into a portable radio.  Now that’s sexy.  But some of the people who volunteer for EMS are people who really don’t have a lot going on mentally, but they are dying to wear that badge.  They desperately want people to think of them as that chiseled guy with one leg up on a bumper, talking into a handheld at the scene of some mayhem.  Yeah, that’s sexy.  It’s the same reason so many garage bands are started in high school.

But it’s not a good reason to become a public servant.

Oh, and I could tell you stories.  And to be honest, I probably will.  Now that I have laid the ground work here I would love to tell some tales of volunteers showing up drunk, or with faulty equipment.  The stories are outlandish, and I am going to save them.  I am not going to try to tackle all of those at once.  Some of those stories need to be savored individually.  But I also have to be very careful.  My story about the one volunteer who was caught masterbating in the radio room really upset some readers and I need to be careful.  This really seems to be a hot button.  Telling stories like this leaves you open to accusations of being unpatriotic.

But with this post I would like to point out the characteristics of a good volunteer service as well as the characteristics of a bad one.  Please keep in mind that these are observations.  I refuse to offer them as absolutes.  I am sure that a volunteer organization exists somewhere that will contain every bad characteristic I am about to detail and still manages to be a fine service.  Inversely, I am sure there is another service somewhere in this country that contains every good characteristic, and manages to perform horribly on all levels.  These should be considered markers, and warnings rather than absolutes.

Characteristics of a Good Volunteer Organization

1. Some sort of monetary compensation should be in place.  Some services pay per run.  Some pay with free rent in a dorm room.  Some pay indirectly with a chance at a paid position.  The trick is to pay with something, because pay can be removed when standards are not met.  As I said, money keeps everyone honest.
2. The level of training should be consistent with that of paid staff.  If there is no paid staff, it should be consistent and equal to other services in the area.  Too many times I have heard the excuse of ‘Hey, we are volunteers, we don’t have to train as much.’  I would counter that argument by saying that your patients are just as sick.  The car wrecks are just as horrific.  The diseases are just as contagious.  The heart attacks are just as deadly.  Your training needs to be just as intensive.
3. There should be a schedule that allows volunteers to have days where they are not available for runs.  Do you want to be available 24/7?  Neither does anyone else.  As a matter of fact, no one should be.  Family is important.  Friends are important.  Careers are important.  And some things in life should just not be interrupted.  Volunteers should take the time to have a day off, sleep late, and have a drink or two.  Rest and relax with the pager off.
4. If there are paid units as well as volunteer units, the volunteer units should look identical and the equipment list should be the same.  An ambulance in service is an ambulance in service.  The patients do not know the difference between a volunteer and a paid ambulance.  No one else should be able to tell the difference either.
5. A good volunteer organization is always recruiting.  The more experienced personnel are always training the newcomers how to improve performance.  No reasonable person wants to spend every day on call.  The answer to this is more staff.  A new influx of people is always a good thing.  ‘Training your replacement’ is not a bad thing.  It is something that everyone in any position of responsibility should be doing.

Characteristics of a Volunteer Program That Has Potential Problems

As you might have guessed, it looks almost directly the opposite of what I have described above.

1. Volunteers receive no compensation, yet they are inappropriately possessive of their place in the organization.  Again, motives play into this.  I know of a volunteer who was let go from an EMS organization.  He then went and retained a lawyer to defend himself.  Frankly, this is bizarre.  This person was never paid money, so what purpose would a lawsuit serve?  Did he want the judge to order the service to allow him to work for free?  I have also heard the “You can’t fire me because you don’t pay me,” argument.  All I can say is, “Motives, motives, motives.”  If someone is desperately clinging to a non-paid position there is usually some unpleasant undercurrent there.  This can be avoided by paying something, even if it is miniscule, for the service.  It won’t fix everything, but it will help.
2. There is an obvious difference in training level and performance between volunteers and the paid staff.  If this volunteer is actively participating in training, this may be correctable.  But if you get the old song and dance of, “I’ve been doing it this way for 20 years and it was good enough back then…” then you may wish to reconsider what is taking place in your department.
3. The volunteer rig looks vastly different from the paid rig.  The signs are usually obvious if something is wrong.  Perhaps it hasn’t been washed in several years.  You may find bow hunting equipment instead of back boards when you open the side cabinet.  I will let your imagination guide you.
4. The volunteer staff has not changed in years.  That new guy who showed some interest a few months ago responded to three scenes and you never heard from him again.  Twenty-year veterans are starting to park the ambulance at their residence.  These are not signs of healthy organizations.
5. The volunteer staff has become an impenetrable clique.  Some camaraderie is to be expected, but if the membership of this clique has not changed in five years and that’s about how long it has been since you have had an applicant, it may be time to change things up a bit.  Also, having beer in the station vending machine is also probably a sign that socializing needs to be reigned in.

What are the telltale signs of volunteers that have gone too far?  At the risk of offending someone, I am going to describe a couple situations which may let you know that you may have a problem on your hands.  If the warning equipment on a volunteer’s vehicle is worth more than the vehicle itself, it may be time to reevaluate priorities.  This is going to sound snobbish, and I will probably take some heat for the statement.  But this should be good information for folks applying to paid jobs in EMS.  I have worked for two different services that would send someone out to look at an applicant’s car during the job interview.  If too much crap was installed on their personal vehicle, we would not hire them.  Be offended if you wish, but this is a good job application tip.

I once attended a fire school in the Louisville area.  A volunteer crew arrived to this training in an in service engine from 300 miles away.  They were all wearing metal badges pinned to fire department t-shirts.  That’s right.  Not class A’s, t-shirts.  And yes, as you might expect, the badges were swinging wildly and low, ripping the t-shirts that were straining to hold their load.  They all had portable radios and tone pagers that were turned on.  I asked if they could receive dispatches from 300 miles away and they just looked at me quizzically.  That’s one hell of a repeater.  I am going to jump out on a limb and suggest that this organization may need a bit of help.

I could go on, but I think I’ll stop before I get in trouble.

I’ll wrap this up with a few pieces of advice.  There are many healthy volunteer organizations out there.  If you find one, enjoy it and hold it up as an example for all to follow.  Thank the diligent people who run it, and find out their secrets.  If you should find yourself in the midst of a poisonous department, please remember that the world will not crumble around your district if you leave.  Fighting nepotism and ignorance will be one of the most frustrating things you will ever do in your career.  It might just sour you on the business completely.  Attaching yourself to such an organization for very long may also do irreparable damage to your local reputation.  Under such circumstances it may be preferable to starve rather than swallow poison.  Don’t ever damage future endeavors for a current one that is hopeless.

Bookmark It

Hide Sites